HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY, EVERY DAY: INTUITIVE JOURNALING
I live in my head, and always have. As a child, and well into my adulthood, I would retreat into my own thoughts and create a safe haven there- a place where I could go to disconnect from the unpredictable and chaotic world around me. It was wonderful! I had everything I could ever want- in the privacy and comfort of my own imagination. It was a low risk, high reward arrangement that enabled me to survive as a sensitive person growing up in harsh circumstances. While spending most of my time in my head had its advantages, it also did me a great disservice- a reality which became increasingly apparent as I reached my adulthood and wanted not only to dream big, but to manifest big. Suddenly, my beloved mind palace began to turn on me. In came the doubt, the judgement, the fear! I was well practiced in dreaming, but had no way of quieting the inner judges and so my dreams never quite came to full fruition. I, with the power of my own thoughts, cut them all off at the pass. The result was me getting very close to what I desired, but never quite crossing the finish line. Every time it looked like manifestation was imminent, my head would convince me that good things happened to other people, and not to me. That it really was safer to stay inside of myself, and given I was comfortable enough with what I had, I never needed to stray too far outside of what I knew. After all, I knew my comfort zone so well- there was no chance of unexpected turbulence…and no chance of life changing good fortune, either. I can tell you, that living life like that didn’t afford me much happiness and I always felt like I wasn’t living up to my full potential.
Until, that is, six weeks into the Covid pandemic, I stumbled across a book entitled “How to Write Down Your Soul” by Janet Connor. In her book, Janet speaks of how, inspired by Julia Cameron’s classic “The Artists Way,” she took the concept of “artist pages” and morphed them into what she refers to as “soul journaling.” She describes soul journaling as a way of getting out of your head, and into your soul’s knowing via daily automatic writing- a way to work around our ego’s voice which limits and denies us our highest truths and fullest potential. At the time, I was living alone and experiencing the early days of quarantine, and grappling with some intense anxiety and fear based inner dialogue. I was absolutely sick of living in my head, and yearned for a way out of the seemingly safest place I’d ever known. So, I tried it. At first, I did so keeping my own hands tied behind my back through insisting on proper grammar and neat handwriting and then, I let go. I let go and scribbled like a mad woman. Illegible, untamed, uncensored words. Every morning I woke up, and before I even got out of bed, I allowed myself to channel whatever wanted to come through me- and oh my, what came through was…ME. The me that existed outside of the layers of shame, self doubt, and fear…the me that existed free from my own mental prison.
That was a year and a half ago, and I can’t imagine living a life without daily intuitive journaling- it is my mental re-set, and it is all mine. In fact, it is my trusty ‘ol mind palace returned to me, channeled in a way that is constructive, comforting, and liberating. All it takes is paper, pen, and giving yourself permission to write your truth as it is in that moment, with intention, and without limitations. And though I could list off all the wonderful, life changing things that I’ve manifested since I started daily soul journaling, I’ll instead impart the greatest lesson that I’ve learned from this practice- that the kind of life that we are capable of manifesting outside of our own self perceived limitations is well, limitless.
*Image courtesy of Boadicea's Tarot of Earthly Delights by Paula Millet